The ism of the grapefruit,

grapefruitism @ 2007-01-23T22:31:00

2007-01-24T03:23:10Z

9:14 to 10:05 pm

Elisabeth throws up.

grapefruitism @ 2007-01-22T11:57:00

2007-01-22T17:08:36Z

Everything that exists during childhood exists in exactly the same form during adulthood, just coated consistently with more and more bullshit.

grapefruitism @ 2007-01-21T23:26:00

2007-01-22T04:26:00Z

Spent a couple hours picking up recyclable and non-biodegradable items from around the man-made smith pond today, the pond that will cost god knows what to dredge. It was deliciously bitterly cold. Makes me question humanity, it really does.

exquisite, is it not?

2006-12-29T18:46:51Z

2 lesbian girls
on crack
My Father
ready wine -
so I took a glass,
and drank beer with
it while watching
football.
Mmm...hot chunky men.
Shit hot
Hen hat
thought that-
although it
made no
difference,
he flailed his hands
and shouted
"Hallelujah!"
The Lord has
come!
But I went
Out the Door.

Three point one
on the richter
scale
5 million!
and we should
all die, die I
say!!
But why? and when
where_____
my cat covered hair
Balls! and Nuts!
And then I remembered
I needed to
fuck her as quickly
as possible because
later she will Die
under piles of stones -
a small monster
awakes
And confuses people
with his odd grammar.

Trash
Erase
Take
Ghost
Terrified
disappearances
across the-
universe of universes,
lesbian of lesbians,
and thus spoke Jesus.
And said give me
that sheep!
even the shepard-
who lost his
little bo- peep
which made his obsess
about anality.

When claymation goes awry,
I get pissed off
when other people
can jack off so easily.
then why can't I
drink tea
green tea
tastes yummy.
like my cunt.
And my penis
sounding his -
horn of ages,
torn of Mages,
given to Big
Brother who is watching you.

Friendship is
an interesting thing
ate my day-
and made sweet
love to my
night-
wing angel, and then I got
my period which sucked.
I mean, I was
fucking grateful
because now I knew
I wasn't having his
offspring...
The End
except mat called-
by many names-
One of them being Jesus
and the other Judah.
Said to me that
jesus loves me-
But, for a
Price.

grapefruitism @ 2006-12-26T16:38:00

2006-12-26T21:39:04Z

I live.
What can I say.

I think I shall learn.

2006-11-27T16:16:39Z

grapefruitism @ 2006-11-17T03:52:00

2006-11-17T03:52:52Z

rain makes me want to do crazy things.

grapefruitism @ 2006-11-03T16:19:00

2006-11-03T16:19:18Z

Why is Beethoven so sexy?

grapefruitism @ 2006-10-19T19:35:00

2006-10-19T19:43:41Z

I have discovered my college's music library. It is gorgeous.

If you have any genre, artist, specific cd you want, etc. tell me here accompanied with your address.
And I will send you a copy.

I want to give all this music to the world.

The Universe-some information to help you live in it.

2006-10-17T03:31:33Z

1 AREA: Infinite.
Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow that's big" time. Infinity is just so big that, by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.

2 IMPORTS: None.
It is impossible to import things into an infinite area, there being no outside to import things from.

3 EXPORTS: None.
See Imports.

4 POPULATION: None.
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited, Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

...

7 SEX: None.
Well, in fact there is an awful lots of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art, or anything else that might keep all the nonexistent people of the Universe occupied.
However, it is not worth embarking on a long discussion of it now because it really is terribly complicated. For further information see Guide Chapters seven, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one to eighty-four inclusive, and in fact most of the rest of the Guide.

grapefruitism @ 2006-10-09T16:11:00

2006-10-09T20:06:09Z

Does anybody out there have poetry/poets to recommend?

Right. So since no one read my last post.

2006-09-23T15:31:51Z

Pick a page number between 34 and 444.

Edit: For your information: The excerpts are taken from The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Sex by Dr. A. Willy, Dr. L. Vander, and Dr. O. Fisher, copyright date 1950.

This text does not actually have a connection to my last entry, except for it's interesting theories on things relating to the female body.

You should read my last entry because I spent at least 3 hours pasting together a multitude of different theories on some very enticing issues.

Menstruation Killed George Washington

2006-09-20T05:14:59Z

Why menstruate at all? Different Theories:

According to Coutinho menstruation is simply the sign of a failed process: "When menstruation occurs, it means that the [reproductive] system failed and, for the sake of reproductive efficiency, would have to be repeated the next month, the month after that, and so on, until a successfully nested fertilized egg starts to develop" (p.4). This is not far from the standard definition of menstruation provided in health education classes: menstruation takes place when pregnancy does not.

Coutinho's definition of menstruation is important since it underpins his major claim in this new work -- that regular menstruation is not "natural". According to Coutinho, a monthly menses would have been unusual for early women who were regularly pregnant or breast-feeding (and therefore without periods), "young women were either pregnant or lactating almost continuously." It is only the modern woman, he argues, who experiences menstruation as a regular, monthly occurrence. While repeated menstruation made biological sense for Stone Age humans whose survival was by no means assured, Coutinho hypothesizes, regular menstruation is no longer necessary in the modern world where human survival is not contingent upon prolific childbirth.

Coutinho concludes with a syllogistic logic: since menstruation exists for the purpose of prolific childbearing, and repeated childbirth is no longer necessary, then menstruation is now "obsolete". Without the promise of 10 or 12 children to bear, menstruation, according to Coutinho, is a waste of a woman's resources. It takes away her energy, lowers her iron levels and induces an array of minor health troubles -- headaches, nausea, cramps, moodiness -- and major health symptoms for those with chronic menstrual ailments, such as endometriosis. Regular menstruation, Coutinho concludes, is an outmoded function of our evolutionary ancestors and should now be suppressed in all reproductive aged women.

Margie Profet made her entry into the scientific forum in 1993 by asking a question no scientist had thought to ask since Hippocrates and Galen: "Why do women menstruate"? Profet argues from an evolutionary standpoint that there must necessarily exist a functional purpose for regular menstruation or it would not have endured the mutations of our evolution; Menstruation must offer some advantage for human survival or it would not have survived itself. It is not likely, Profet maintains, that our bodies are so inefficient as to permit a monthly expenditure of energy without a concurrent gain.

Profet noted at the outset that menstrual blood differs in composition from that of regular blood, most notably by containing immune cells called "macrophages". These cells are able to combat the presence of pathogens present in the uterine cavity. It is from this observation that Profet establishes her hypotheses: "Menstruation functions to protect the uterus and oviducts from colonization by pathogens." Regular bleeding is a regular cleansing, in Profet's estimation, keeping women's reproductive organs free of contaminants. And from where do these pathogens come? From men, of course: "Sperm are vectors of disease" states Profet unhesitatingly. Sexually active women require a method by which to protect themselves from potential infection caused through intercourse.

Critics of Profet argue to the contrary that menstrual blood acts as the perfect nesting ground for a host of sexually transmitted microorganisms, and moreover, a woman is more susceptible to a wide variety of vaginal infections during menstruation than at any other time in her cycle.

Karen Houppert adds another dimension to the menstruation debate. Houppert collates health studies conducted on toxic shock syndrome and other reproductive health problems (including infertility and endometriosis) and finds that much of these ailments may be directly caused by even trace levels of dioxins found in most tampons and pads --the chlorine compounds that make our "sanitary protection" whiter than white. Given Houppert's findings, it may be less that menstruation "causes" the onset of infectious diseases, as critics of Profet claim, than that our "treatment" of menstruation interferes with a natural immune process.

Beverly Strassmanne asks, why do women periodically regenerate the endometrium? Like Profet, she too finds her answer in evolutionary biology. The cyclical reconstitution of the endometrium is more cost-efficient than maintaining the health and vigor of a single entity. She argues, "edometrial economy" preserves the metabolic equivalent of six days worth of food for women -- an important evolutionary survival advantage for those times in human history when the food supply has been scarce, and where six days can mean the difference between life and death.

So, in a general sense when discusing whether periods are necessary today for the average woman, some say that since broad use of the birth control pill, 40 years ago, women have been enduring painful, heavy, downright useless periods every month for no reason. The fact of the matter is that when the pill was developed in the 60s, women were given pills that they took for three weeks that prevented ovulation, then one week of dummy pills, and a false period arrived. There were certain preconceived notions that no one ever challenged until recently, that women couldn't live without a period, and thus they simulated the normal cycle. So far, there is no evidence that there are any major negative side effects associated with missing your period/ purposefully not having your period for a long amount of time (only real possible side effect is unknown- what happens if the same uterus lining is kept month after month, aka what happens without the monthly shedding and rebuilding of the endometrium?).

Women, Meat, and the Meaning of Life:

Leonard Shlain, a surgeon, is the latest to jump in with ''Sex, Time and Power,'' in which he makes a case for concentrating on women and their need for the mineral iron as the key to understanding our past. Women need high stores of iron, Dr. Shlain says, because they menstruate every month, become pregnant and nurse. In our evolutionary past the best way to restore depleted iron was to eat meat. But women were probably not hunters, and so they must have manipulated men with sexual favors to bringing home a blood-soaked dinner. This manipulative move, Dr. Shlain suggests, then set into motion just about every aspect of human behavior.

The reproductive biology of women supposedly supports his account: Menstruation, with a blood loss excessive compared with that of other mammals, makes women crave meat. Women have also lost the usual advertisement of fertility -- heat -- and are always open to sex. Men, who have high levels of testosterone, which increases their sex drive, are then lured into hunting and sharing meat by the promise of continuous sex from these menstruating, sexy women. The trade is meat for sex and everyone wins as genes are passed down by the iron-rich women who produce healthy, intelligent babies.

The female lust for meat, Dr. Shlain suggests, is responsible for the evolution of much of human behavior, including intimate relations between men and women, foresight and puzzle solving, complex social interactions, different psychological moods between men and women, and any number of human traits that we now see in the best and worst of us.

Synchronization:

One often hears of females living in close proximity undergoing the synchronization of their menstruation onset times. In an article published by Russell et al. (1980), it was stated that "menstrual synchrony is not due to changes in food, awareness of menstrual timing or lunar cycles, and [it is] suggested that the only significant factors seem to be the amount of time the women spend together and the lengths of their cycles." They conducted a really cool experiment in an attempt to demonstrate if the olfactory cues of one very "regular" woman could influence the timing of menstrual onset in other women.

Scientists at the Sonoma State Hospital Brain Behavior Research Center in California identified these "regular" women who were believed to be menstrual pacesetters--they made other women conform to their cycles. The scientists placed cotton pads under the dominant women's arms for a day, and then wiped the pads on the upper lips of five female subjects three times a week. (One wonders how much the subjects got paid for this.) The results indicated with statistical significance of p < 0.01 that odors from one woman can influence the the menstrual cycle of another. The mean difference in days between the menstrual onset of tested subjects and the donor at the beginning of the experiment was 9.2 days. This average decreased to 3.4 days by the end of the experiment with four of the five subjects synchronizing to within one day of the donor's onset. The control group averaged 8.0 days from the donor's onset in the pre-treatment month and 9.2 days in the post-treatment month.

Burley (1979) suggests synchrony is an evolutionary holdover from prehistoric times, when it was common for men to take multiple mates and efficient reproduction was essential to the survival of the species. The author of this theory assumes that women in their brief monthly phase of peak fertility give off some pheromonic signal that drives men wild. If his wives are on different cycles, the male has a good chance of picking the wrong one when his nose tells him it's time to go into action, thus wasting precious bodily fluids. But if the women are all menstrually synchronized, he CAN'T pick wrong--they're all fertile.

Synchrony could be a predator/prey instinct. If all the females in the group smell strongly of blood and attract predators at the same time, rather than constantly at varied times throughout the month, this means better survival for the group as a whole.

The Power of the Moon:

The terms "menstruation" and "menses" come from the Latin mensis (month), which in turn relates to the Greek mene (moon) and to the roots of the English words month and moon — reflecting the fact that the moon also takes close to 28 days to revolve around the Earth (actually 27.32 days). The synodical lunar month, the period between two new moons (or full moons), is 29.53 days long.

A 1975 book by Louise Lacey documented the experience of herself and 27 of her friends, who found that when they removed all artificial nightlighting their menstrual cycles began to occur in rhythm with the lunar cycle. She dubbed the technique Lunaception.[11] Later studies in both humans and animals have found that artificial light at night does influence the menstrual cycle in humans and the estrus cycle in mice (cycles are more regular in the absence of artificial light at night), though none have duplicated the synchronization of women's menstrual cycles with the lunar cycle.

Charles Darwin believed that menstruation was linked to the moon's influence on tidal rhythms, a legacy of our origin in the sea.

At least some mammals' biologies are linked to the lunar cycle; in the lemur, for example, estrus and sex tend to occur around the time of the full moon.

Some have suggested that the fact that many other animals' menstrual cycles appear to be greatly different from lunar cycles is evidence that the average length of humans' cycle is most likely a coincidence.

Biologist Winnifred Cutler, in a 1980 paper, found that 40 percent of women in a random sample showed "a preponderance of menses onsets in the light half-cycle of the month" (the two weeks centered on the full moon). This means 60 percent of the women didn't show any coincidence.

I should visit all those gray colored places of the world.

2006-09-18T14:08:34Z

As per request.

2006-09-11T01:19:24Z

The Iraq war began march 19, 2003. The Lancet Report came out October 29, 2004. Just a bit over 1 year and a half after that date.

The Lancet report, cosponsored by Johns Hopkins, was a survey published by one of the oldest and most respected peer-reviewed medical journals in the world by that name.

As stated by the respected 'Wikipedia,' the researchers compared the mortality rate among civilians in Iraq during the 14.6 months prior to the March 2003 invasion with the 17.8 month period following the invasion. Excluding information from Falluja, which researchers believed would skew the overall mortality rates because of the excessive violence from combat in that area, they estimate that 100,000 more Iraqis died than would have been expected had the invasion not occurred. Using this data, researchers estimated the increased risk of death following the 2003 invasion and subsequent occupation of Iraq to be 1.5 fold (95% confidence interval: 1.1 to 2.3) higher than that prior to the invasion, leading to an estimate of an increase in total deaths (combatants plus noncombatants) of 98,000 (95% confidence interval: 8000 to 194000) over what would have been expected, had there been no invasion. The risk of death from violence in the period after the invasion was 58 times higher (95% CI 8.1-419) than in the period before the war. The study did not attempt to measure how many of these were civilian, but the study's authors have said they believe that the "vast majority" were noncombatants, based on 7% of the casualties being women and 46% being children under the age of 15 (including Falluja data). If the data from this town is included overall, the compiled studies would point to about 250,000 excess deaths since the outbreak of the U.S.-led war.

So, considering the researchers termed the 100,000 number as a "conservative" estimate of the amount of deaths caused by the US invasion of Iraq we can safely say that in a year and a half after the start of the war, 100,000 Iraqis had been killed.

Bremer, Director of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance for post Iraq and Coalition Provisional Authority, stated this, 'Saddam may have killed as many as 300,000 Iraqis during his 35 years in power.'[CNN, October 5, 2004] This 300,000 number is derived from both reported deaths and findings of mass graves in Iraq.

Given this man's conservative background, and the Lancet researchers' conservative estimate, it can indeed truly be said that the United States killed one third in one and a half years of what Saddam killed in his entire 35 years in power.

Edit:
Welcome to the wonderful world of entertainment
Where art imitates life and people get famous
Welcome to the world of show biz arrangement
Where lights, camera action is the language

A nother.

2006-08-08T21:25:29Z

I might have managed to wheedle myself into a position at a bicycle shop in Northampton; it was like bargaining.

I'm still not sure if Scott wants me or not.

I'm really trying not to be as excited as I am.

There's really no reason for them to hire me.

Playing create my own major.

2006-08-08T05:31:41Z

Environmental science and third world development studies with a concentration in the policy and sociology of said above. (Edit: I'll call it Sustainable Development).

Hmmmmm.

What do you think?

I can't help wondering what my dad's sex life is like.

2006-07-11T09:49:36Z

All this procreation he's doing. I wonder if Anja had sex before she met my father. She's catholic, but only nomine tenu, as far as I've seen. She had sex with my dad outside of marriage (Felix popped out four months later), so does that choice shed light on what she might have done in the past? Did my father, as an older man, seduce her with long practiced women-seducing moves? Somehow I can't imagine that of my father. My mother has mentioned in passing that he used to be smooth or some sort of thing, but he's just sort of fatherly and awkward to me, but I'm sure that's purely because of my bias as his daughter. My mother assumes he had sex before he married her. I can simply not imagine never asking, but she never did. Over 20 years. I ran across condoms today in his bathroom while looking for more soap. It seemed so immature. I can't help wondering how often they have sex. Reading Breakfast of Champions made me think about the average number of orgasms per week of the characters in my life. I'm not even curious. I don't want to know. That would ruin the philosophical pondering time I get out of it. Are the extra blankets in the middle of their bed underneath their sheets only there to stop baby spittle from staining the futon? They rarely kiss anymore. Two years ago they were much more touchy, much more loving. They're already going down hill. It's so blatantly obvious. They fight over the most ridiculous things, mostly about situations that have already happened and that nothing can fix. How typical. Such as, 'we shouldn't have walked if we were going to be late' but we've already walked and we're already late. Then let's fight for ten minutes about it. Anja jokes about how my father was different when they first met. How he did things to impress her. She's not really joking. She's already bitter that he's only human. I asked them if they were done being baby making machines. For now, they said. That means they're going to have more children. My father is already going to be about 80 when Felix and Hana Lisa are my age. I love my father, don't get me wrong. He's definitely much closer to my understanding than my mother. He has just got to have some fucked up biological clock constantly ticking in his mind. This fascinates and disgusts me.

grapefruitism @ 2006-07-08T12:47:00

2006-07-08T16:42:45Z

This is just ridiculous.

2006-07-07T19:24:33Z

"In contrast to Matisse's odalisques, as Melanie Horst notes in a catalogue essay, his figures of women at a window reflect "the type of the modern woman who would soon appear in Matisse's exterior worlds." Then the author adds, "In the painting Grand Interieur, Nice, the female figure occupies the balcony: as a threshold figure she belongs to both spheres, the interior as well as the exterior...The articulation of figure and space meant that the interior lost its original significance as shelter and realm of the private. It even becomes a passageway that the viewer has to overcome visually to arrive at the imaginary exterior space of the painting." Note the complexity of the pictorial space as a whole. It combines a very high vantage point, on the tipped-up floor and armchair, with a very low vantage point, on the window rosette. Then too, the illumination is divorced from the structure of the space. The light impinges on the curtains, follows the arabesques on the wallpaper to the right, and on its way downwards is transformed step by step into sheer color."

It goes on.

Bicycleness.

2006-07-06T12:31:12Z

I have been longing to put up pictures of my love, and finally I have made everything work gorgeously. The first three pictures are her, in all her sexy splendidness.

This is the bicycle I rented recently while in Grassau, Deutschland.

This is my current ride while in Basel, Switzerland. Charming in her own, rusty late 1980's German way.

These next three pictures are of the bicycle parking garage underneath the Bahnhoff SBB in the center of Basel. Wow, so many bicycles.

The potential response would be wonderful.

2006-07-04T15:59:50Z

Does anyone who reads this know how I can post pictures originally in JPG format on livejournal?

This truly is when you know you have tooo much time to fill.

2006-07-03T20:17:38Z

Song 1: RMI, MC Solaar.

1) When did you first remember hearing this song? At a greasy bowling alley on business Rt. 1 when I was in a pissy mood. Maybe almost 4 months ago. But I have no sense of time.

2) What's your favorite lyrical phrase from this song?
Well, the first phrase is amazing, "Que se passe-t-il ? Rien c'est personnel !" But you have to hear him say it. I also like his use of "une religion de supermarket" later on.

3) How long have you liked the artist of this song: Well, I liked MC Solaar then when I first heard him and I like him now.

Song 2: Hey Jude, Beatles.

1) What memory comes to mind when you hear this song? My Dad told me that when this song was first big they used to have "Hey Jude Parties." They would go over to some damn hippies house, drink beer and sing the end of Hey Jude FOREVER. You know the ending? Where they are singing, and I quote, "la, la, la, lalalala." No, seriously. It would never end. That's all.

2) Is the track length of this song longer, shorter, or about the same as what you think the average is for your collection and what is it? Mmmm. The track length is 7:04. That could be a bit longer than my average track, but then again I have stuff like Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Buddha Bar, and Enigma. But this song always seems so long because of the lalas at the end.

3) What would be the best situation for this song to be played? I honestly can't even imagine anything better than the Hey Jude Party.

Song 3: Elegie in C Minor, Gabriel Faure/ Jacqueline du Pré.

1) What scene does this song make you think of? The moor I walked through the other day. Dark, grays and greens, rain. Someone there is definitely wandering, lost. And utterly heartbroken.

2) On a 1-10 scale, 10 being the best, what would you rate this song? 10.

3) What instruments are featured in this song? Cello and piano.

Song 4: Little Acorns, White Stripes.

1) Why do you like this song? Um. It's ridiculous.

2) How often would you say you listened to this song in the past month? Maybe 5 times from the combination of the White Stripes CD being one of the limited collection in the car, and ipod shuffleness.

3) What friend in your list do you think you'd recommend this song to first? My sister. To see the look of sheer disbelief on her face.

Song 5: Bang, Bang [My Baby Shot Me Down], Nancy Sinatra.

1) What "color" do you think this song represents? Bullet silver.

2) How many hours straight of this song do you think you could take before you snapped? Haha.

3) Would this song go on a "My Favorites" CD for you (Top 20)? No.

Reasons not to procreate, reasons not to be a parent

2006-07-01T23:07:09Z

1. I do not trust myself to be a good parent. I see too many bad parents. It's like politics. You can go into it with all the good intentions in the world, but somehow inevitably 99.9% of even those with good intentions become corrupt. I also just hate the parental status. Even if you're a good parent. Right now the idea of a "parent" simply disgusts me. It always appears to be some power trip, or some selfish desire to live a better life through your children, and so many more things along those lines.
2. There are too many children out there already without anyone to give them love. Just because there is a selfish desire to carry on your own seed, does not mean that is right. Also, people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on in vitro fertilization, etc. so that they can have a child with their own genes. Can you even imagine what good could come of all that money if people were willing to just give up that much that easily in other situations? Adopt, if anything.
3. Creating a child that will live in this world seems incredibly thoughtless. Just knowing the current state of the world socially, politically, environmentally should be enough to stop you. Overpopulation = big one. I mean, perhaps your child will be the next savior of the world. But, so far we apparently only got one in the last four million years. But seriously, unless you are positive that you yourself will change the world so that it is really in a state that is reasonable to raise a child in, then pshaw.

I think I would like to do some foster care. But only as long as they didn't think of me as a 'parent.'

I've reached a breaking point.

2006-07-01T23:05:07Z

It is so eternally frustrating that I cannot smell myself.

What do I smell like?

I will never truly know.